Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Setback!!!

After the all night train ride to the end of the world, we finally met two great kids today. Brother and Sister, twins! They are healthy and absolutely adorable. In Ukraine when you become an orphan it is as a result of the mother's and/or father's parental rights being taken away from them. Apparently these two kids were deprived of appropriate nourishment and care and have been at this boarding school for 3 years. The mother's rights have been revoked for one year. When that happens the mother is not to communicate with the children or go any where near their environment.



Back track..... when we went to our appointment at the SDA and were shown the files of these kids, the SDA personally called the orphange to ask if the kids were there and if there was any family members that come to visit. If they tell you "yes" it normally causes concern and could be a problem for adoption. We were told "no." Our facilitator also called the Director of the school and she confirmed that there is no family.



So, we go to meet these kids today along with the director, the psychologist, the nurse and the caretaker. The last person we talk to is the caretaker and she tells us that the mother just came to visit the kids 3 weeks ago. Everyone was shocked including the Director. So, bottom line, these pour kids feel that their mother is going to come back for them some day and it's just a matter of time. The sad part is, she will never come back for them other then an occassional visit behind the scenes. We know she is not interested in having them back because the local officials indicated that she has never filed a petition to get her kids back.



Now these whole process and how it turns out is up to these two small children. It will be up to them to decide if they want to be adopted. Now we have to talk to the Director and unfortunately give her the task to tell these children the story of their mother and the fact that a family is here to adopt them. I feel so bad for them. This process will just continue whether it be us that try to adopt them or the next family. Because they will continue to be available with the government officials and families will continue to be sent to meet them.

After a long conversation with Jim today, we agreed that we have nothing to lose. So, we are going to try to win their hearts and see how it goes. I just hope that it doesn't end up breaking my heart in the end. I don't know what kind of strength I will have left in me to return to the SDA and ask for a second appointment to see the available orphans and begin this process all over again. My stepdaughter, Meghan will only be with me until Saturday and after that I'll be on my own to face these difficult decisions.

Please continue to pray that things work out with S & A, and we'll be able to adopt them. Thanks for all of your love and support, Heather

10 comments:

Narcissa said...

I just recently found your blog a few posts ago and was checking repeatedly today to see if there was any news! I hope it all works out for you and you are able to win the children over. 10 year old twins sound perfect. Good luck and I will be sending good thoughts your way!

Renia in Munich

Michael & Jeanette said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers and the children are to. It is sad that young children must make grownup choices. I pray that the Lord will make you and them strong and that the children will be able to see in the future that their lives will be better. Jeanette

Conethia and Jim Bob said...

I am sorry for your predicament. These poor kiddos probably do feel like their mother will eventually want them again. What a decision for them to try to understand and make. My prayers are with you all.

Anonymous said...

All our thoughts and prayers with you. I'm so glad that Megan is with you and at least you can get your balance while she is there. WE are all thinking about you.

Ellen

MamaPoRuski said...

I can't imagine what you or those children are going through! You are in our hearts and prayers! May God's peace comfort you and give you strength!

Anonymous said...

We are agonizing over what you are going through. When I can't sleep tonight, I will pray for all of you.

Poor Meredith is probably sick of my phone calls, and I don't know if she told you that Kurt set his phone to buzz whenever you post something new. I can't tell you how much we wish there was something we could do to help you.

Kurt and Holly

Parker Family said...

That is a tough predicament but I think you're doing the right thing. I feel for both you and the children.

I believe we may have met you at the SDA on Monday. We also had our appt that morning and you look like the person we met while waiting. If you would like to contact/meet us in Ukraine please email us at llparker@mindspring.com or call 38 067 450 6442. We're still waiting in Kiev for our second appt.

Mary & Larry Parker

Kevin & Pam said...

My prayers are with you. God has the right children hand picked for you!

Anonymous said...

We just looked at the pictures. They are beautiful! I am soooo glad today was better. Keep plugging away. They are obviously worth it--I can see why you want to take them all home. We continue to send prayers and good thoughts your way.

Kurt and Holly

Ms. Mary said...

Heather, Talked to your mom today. Things happen for a reason. I asked for an update-she said "Guess what?" I kiddingly said, "Don't tell me-twins? She said, you are not too far off! Way to go Hon-prayers are with you! Love always, Mary